Building Resilience That Works

My daughter is a keen athlete and competes at a national level, over time, some of the best athletes i've observed show some clear similarities to high performers I’ve coached and worked with. They know how to stay grounded in the moment. They focus less on the outcome and more on simply doing what they’re there to do. They trust the process, knowing that consistency and calm will lead to results.

But when the stakes are high, the pressure can feel overwhelming. The expectations we hold for ourselves and those of others can amplify the emotional weight of success and failure. It’s easy to let those moments feel like they define who we are, but they don’t.

And, failure is not the end of the story. I remember a quote from a top-flight football coach who was asked how he felt about a player missing a pivotal penalty, he replied something along the lines of “…Only players who never take a penalty never miss.” – that really stuck with me as he was saying taking the shot (whatever the outcome) means you’re in the game, you care and your presence matters.

To really manage pressure well, you need emotional resilience, that ability to keep going even when things get tough. I believe that resilience doesn’t mean you don’t feel things; it means you can bounce back, adapt, and keep moving forward without letting the tough stuff consume you. I’ve had to develop this in my own life, particularly with recent life events. I can honestly say that recognising that strength in yourself at work and in life is powerful.

When you have emotional resilience you stay calm under pressure with the constant reminder that, this too shall pass.  It means you know when to ask for help when needed and, you hold on to a sense of purpose and hope. With resilience you learn from setbacks and grow through them. It’s said that stress is the brain’s way of prepping us to rise to a challenge, the key is keeping it in check, so it sharpens us, not overwhelms us. And, a word on nerves and anxiety, as I regularly tell my clients, some nerves are a good sign as it means what you’re doing matters - the trick is making sure it doesn’t tip into being all-consuming.

So how can you bring this into your work and your leadership?

Here are a few ways to build your resilience:

• Get to know yourself. Self-awareness is the foundation. Notice your triggers and reactions. Try journalling or reflective questions like, “When I’m at my best, what am I doing, thinking, or focusing on?” These small insights can be game changers.

• Flip the self-talk. Catch the inner critic and replace it with encouraging, realistic thoughts. “It’s tough right now, but I can get through it.” Even a simple, “You’ve got this” can go a long way.

• Lean on your people. Connect with those who lift you up. Don’t isolate when things feel hard; let your support network do what it’s there for.

• Prioritise self-care. This isn’t a luxury—it’s essential. Sleep, food, movement, mindfulness, breathwork, and downtime all help you reset. Practices like gratitude and spiritual reflection (whether that’s through Faith or meaningful activities) can keep you grounded.

• Focus on what you can control. Let go of what you can’t. Visualise getting through the challenge—what you’ll see, feel, and know on the other side.

• Let yourself feel. Emotions aren’t weakness. Even though stoicism can have value, ignoring your feelings can block your growth. Be brave enough to notice and process what’s really going on inside.

  
  

Resilience isn’t fixed—it’s something we grow with time, practice, and a bit of self-compassion. When it feels like everything is coming at you at once, see it as an opportunity to strengthen that resilience muscle. The more we stretch it, the stronger it becomes. (Not that I’m recommending chaos as a training plan!)

Remember, you’ve got more bounce-back in you than you think. And you’re not alone.

I’d love to hear from you—what helps you stay resilient when the pressure's on?